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You are dying. You die mentally. You wake up and go to bed remembering the last thing you ate, you live in a constant state of anxiety, you control what you eat, what they cook for you and the calories you burn. You also worry about forcing your stomach inwards, you look up the calories of each food after eating it, you don't drink water in case you get bloated, and you drink black coffee not because you like it better that way. And all this without mentioning the number of hours you spend looking at yourself in the mirror, comparing the size of your body with that of the previous day. Plus all this is, you're physically dying. Your body has so little fat that feeling cold has become constant, your hair falls out every now and then, your body aches, exhausted by the lack of nutrients and supplements that it pleads for just to keep you on your feet but that you won't give it and, in case all this wasn't enough, you can't concentrate or stay awake with the same ease as before. Realise that you are dying, it is not your fault nor do you do it because you want to, but, realise that you are killing yourself.

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